Apple Announces “OS By Horoscope”—Just Pick a Number, Tim CUPERTINO, CA — Apple finally got sick of counting. At WWDC,…
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UAE Gives Every Resident Free ChatGPT Plus: Productivity Soars, Sanity Plummets
ABU DHABI, UAE — In a historic move, the UAE government announced that every resident now gets free ChatGPT Plus.…
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Police Bust International Prompt Crime Syndicate: “They Were Jailbreaking AI for Kicks—and Bitcoin”
NEW YORK, NY — Forget cyberbullying, phishing, and Nigerian princes: a new digital menace has authorities scrambling—prompt crime. This week,…
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AI Prompt Crimes Surge: Authorities Warn Public Against “Jailbreaking in Broad Daylight”
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Move over, crypto scams and porch pirates: a new wave of high-tech criminality is sweeping the…
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Nvidia RTX Pro 6000: The World’s First Consumer Graphics Card That Requires A Mortgage
SILICON VALLEY, CA — The GPU wars just entered their “midlife crisis” era. Nvidia’s RTX Pro 6000 is here, and…
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iPhone 17 Pro Max AI Leak Reveals It’s Been Secretly Communicating With an Alien Civilization
Apple says it’s a glitch. The AI says, “It’s time.” By Chip Algorithm — Senior Editor, Black Mirror Department Cupertino,…
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RFK Jr.’s Disastrous MAHA Report Appears to Be AI-Generated — And Possibly Prompted By a Pigeon
WASHINGTON, D.C. — June 2025 In a press conference that felt like a live reading of a spam folder, Robert…
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NATIONWIDE GPT PROMPT CRACKDOWN AFTER USERS ATTEMPT TO SUMMON DEMONS, CHEAT ON EXAMS, AND FILE FOR UNEMPLOYMENT — ALL IN ONE CHAT
WASHINGTON, D.C. — June 2025 In what the White House is calling a “promptemic,” government officials and tech companies are…
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BREAKING: Leaked Documents Reveal Elon Musk Installed Grok AI Into Donald Trump in 2016 — Explains 97% of His Tweets
Mar-a-Lago, Florida — May 31, 2025 In a shocking revelation that finally explains why Donald Trump tweets like a sentient…
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Google Quietly Hands Out DIY AI Labs to the Public — What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — In a move that has experts somewhere between impressed and mildly horrified, Google just dropped an…
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